Top Ten Albums You (Probably) Didn't Hear - 2018

I’ve had the great chance to listen to a lot more music this year, and I’ve made a concerted effort to expand my horizons not only with the genres that I listen to but especially trying my best to find artists that are underserved. This is a list of the 10 best albums I’ve heard this year that you probably didn’t. They all have under 250,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, and I’ve talked to many people about artists I love with over 1 million listeners and they’ve never heard of them, so I’ll count 250,000 as low for a count.

Here is the link to a playlist that includes my 5 favorite songs from each of these albums!
https://open.spotify.com/user/121181476/playlist/2WS2uObVUwNONnqUoA1Mq0?si=Iz5SZIP3SE-4QKRdKuoNFw

For starters, I’d like to give quick shout-outs to a couple very small artists I love who released albums this year. Adron (1,132 monthly listeners) continued to show that small, quiet, gorgeous music can make for an incredibly calming experience that can’t be found anywhere else with Water Music. The Wilderness (555 monthly listeners) are personal buddies who make damn great music and are an awesome group of guys. Seminary Road is an EP for technicality’s sake, but Dancing in the Dive Bars is one of my favorite songs of the year and I expect nothing but the best from these randy lads.

10. The Beths – Future Me Hates Me (136,522 monthly listeners)

            2018 was an awesome year for female artists, and this didn’t change for smaller artists. I’ve got a soft spot for rock and roll girls and Elizabeth Stokes along with the rest of the Australian band are so much fun and have some very apt comparisons to Best Coast. Future Me Hates Me is a harsh, introspective album that focuses not only on the way we view ourselves but how it affects the people around us and our love lives in the process.

9. Vista Kicks – Twenty Something Nightmare (96,252 monthly listeners)

            I was so happy to be able to see these guys live in the perfect setting: the second floor of a dive bar at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday. With their roots deep into the 60s, 70s, and 80s, Vista Kicks has a diverse and sprawling sound that can be roughly defined as rock, but it moves into funk, punk, and jazz at times. An 18-track sophomore album is an insane venture, but the sum of its parts becomes a crazy, madcap record that I couldn’t put down for a long time.

8. Hinds – I Don’t Run (132,428 monthly listeners)

            I may like the sounds of Hinds a little more than I like any of their music, but I think that makes for some of the best potential I’ve ever had from a fledgling band. A four-piece garage pop-rock band from Madrid, Spain, there isn’t anyone else who sounds like these girls. It’s raw and it’s fierce and it’s pure cool. Very much looking forward to anything else that comes from Hinds in the future. It also helps that I happened to see them on Edgar Wright’s list of his top 50 songs of the year.

7. Sonny Smith – Rod for Your Love (24,995 monthly listeners)

            I’ve been closely following Dan Auerbach (frontman for The Black Keys) and his production studio Easy Eye Sound, and they’re backing some really great artists. Sonny Smith has very classic influences, like most from Easy Eye, blending 60s guitar pop with modern values. The result is a fun blast from the past that harkens back to a time long lost without being too derivative of the works of the greats who came before.

6. Mikaela Davis – Delivery (23,748 monthly listeners)

            This is the point where I started having a lot of difficulty including only five songs from each album on the playlist because Delivery is a powerhouse of a debut album. Pseudo country, rock, pop and a bunch of other things, Mikaela Davis throws everything and the kitchen sink into this album and it’s gorgeous. Soulful, slow ballads like Emily are surrounded by the funky beats of Get Gone, the rock ballad that is Little Bird, and a crazy assortment of other songs. The sheer variety of music sets the undertone for a rollercoaster of emotions that I came back to ride time and time again.

5. Russo – House with a Pool (71,217 monthly listeners)

            Continuing the trend of amazing women on this list, Cailin Russo moved from a poppy solo act with a modeling career to a full-blown rock star when she took on a band to flesh out her sound. House with a Pool keeps the California pop that Cailin innately has but adds some punky California rock and wraps it all in a layer of fun intensity that isn’t afraid to slow down sometimes. Sexy, crazy, and cool, Russo embodies the best women of rock and roll.

4. Shannon Shaw – Shannon in Nashville (63,312 monthly listeners)

            Breaking away from Shannon and the Clams, frontwoman Shannon Shaw’s solo album reminds me of a modern-day Elvis Presley crossed with The Supremes. No joke, about half of this album sounds like an awesome cover of a 50s or 60s hit, but I can assure you that these are all original jams. Slow, fast, and songs that somehow speed up and slow down, I couldn’t put down this album and was moved through it effortlessly. It’s a classical affair that really shows how genres may go away, but there is still ample room for great music to show up and wow us.

3. Last Dinosaurs – Yumeno Garden (210,487 monthly listeners)

            Last Dinosaurs got to fill the void of both a Phoenix and Walk the Moon album for 2018 and boy golly did they ever do it right. Poppy, electronic and full of rock and roll too (you may have noticed a theme for this list by now), Yumeno Garden is an awesome follow up to their last album. Last Dinosaurs is the band I feel has the most potential for enormous popularity out of anyone on this list, and that’s mostly because of how damn fun it is to listen to this album. It throws the listener along with reckless abandon and asks for the dance party of a lifetime to take place in your car on a road trip with the people you love.

2. The Brummies – Eternal Reach (96,329 monthly listeners)

            Psychedelic and cinematic, The Brummies debuted as my favorite new band this year. The trio has said that they wanted people to be able to hear how much time and love went into Eternal Reach and it comes through so well. I was captivated by every song on this album, and there’s even a feature from Kacey Musgraves, who had an amazing album of her own release this year. This is the type of album that is best listened to with a great pair of headphones and 45 minutes of relaxation. Get lost in great music with The Brummies.

1. Early Eyes – Decorating (45,188 monthly listeners)          
            I keep a rotating playlist of new music on my Spotify account, taking albums off once I’ve got the gist and feel like I can move on. I’ve had Decorating on that playlist for the past six months because I can’t stop myself from coming back to it time and time again. I don’t think I’ve ever heard more well-composed indie rock music from such an unknown band. I can’t stress enough how much I love this album and how I knew all of the words to every song within a couple weeks from how often I listened to it, and I never grew tired of it. I haven’t found a person who hasn’t enjoyed this music yet, so it’s only a matter of time before Early Eyes takes over the world. Just remember who told you first.

Is there any underheard artist I missed this year? Let me know, as I'm always looking for great new listens!

BoJack Horseman: Season 4 - Time's Arrow Marches Forward

I need to talk to somebody about season 4 of BoJack Horseman.  I have watched the season in its first weekend of release (as I do with most great Netflix shows nowadays) and I can't shake the feeling that I've watched one of the greatest seasons of television ever produced.  I have never watched or even heard of a show that explores the complicated psychological themes that BoJack does.  It doesn't only tackle them, though.  BoJack looks at what these ailments do.  Not only to the people they are attached to but what they do to the people around them as well.

Every single character on this show has their own incredible arc this season as it focuses on time.  What it does to the brain and the body, how we try to stop it, how we get lost in it, and how we can forget how little of it we have.  Todd continually tries to balance the myriad of things that he wants to do without realizing
how much time he needs to spend on himself and figuring out who he is.  Princess Carolyn grapples with her age and how it's affecting the two incredibly different lifestyles she wants to live.  Diane feels a need to spend more time with Mr. Peanutbutter, even though she feels the rest of the time they have together may be short.  Our new character, Hollyhock, a BoJack lookalike, feels like she's running out of time to find her true parents in order to fix and understand what's wrong with her.  Our title character's mother, Beatrice, is lost in a time long gone, and yet desperate to stay away from it.

And then, of course, there is BoJack.  He must deal with Beatrice and Hollyhock, but more importantly, himself.  BoJack yearns for a time when he can be surrounded by the people he needs without driving them away like he tends to do.  He wants the time to work on himself, but continually finds that his self-destructive nature pushes others to work on him for their own benefit.  But BoJack never sees that benefit for himself.  He eschews that in order to stay the same drunken mess that he's comfortable with.   BoJack wants time to disappear.  He wants a life to stay still in.  But time will not stop for BoJack.  The world will not stop for BoJack.

Every episode this season has its focus, but it never gets lost there.  The B plots are sometimes where there is more insight to be had, and the writers take advantage of that.  Every character's story moves onward with each episode, weaving in and out of each other.  Some interact more than others, and because we've already spent three seasons exploring them, we don't need them to be near one another.  It's a dangerous dance that not many shows can pull off, but I don't feel cheated by any character's storyline this season.

Now, let's talk about the psychological aspects of our characters.  I truly don't want to spoil the arcs that these characters go through so I will have to leave resolutions (or lack thereof) to the episodes themselves, but I am going to talk about problems you might know about before you watch the season, so skip these next three sections if you like.

(Minor spoilers start)

Todd grapples with his asexuality throughout his time in season four.  He sees it as a detriment to his character and this is hard for him.  Many shows have non-binary main characters who feel out of place in society, or that what they're doing is wrong, but Todd finds nothing but acceptance and has a difficult time figuring out what to do with himself as he has trouble accepting his new reality.  This is an amazing new avenue to talk about when it comes to our ever-growing world of sexual preference, and while perhaps Todd is not the best vehicle for this issue, it grows nicely into something that doesn't define his character, just like sexuality shouldn't.

Beatrice's dementia has a tremendous effect on both BoJack and Hollyhock, but I found it much more interesting when we got to see the effects it has on her.  The older world in which Beatrice continues to live in was not right for her.  The pressures against women have a very lasting and hard significance to her and it ends up haunting her for the rest of her life.

And then there's BoJack again, as he continues to fight depression.  There is one particular episode this season that throws us into BoJack's mind and train of thought.  A mind where self-hate is king.  This episode completely encompasses what depression feels like and what the brain does in a depressive state.  The writers ask us to relate to an asshole who only gets meaner and meaner, and somehow we can.  I was blown away by how deep the issue was probed throughout the season, and I can't wait to see what they have to say about it next season.

(Minor spoilers end)

I'd like to take a break from the sadder things to talk about the humor that this show presents.  Yes, the jokes are dark as can be at times, but on every other occasion, BoJack Horseman is a very silly show.  About a quarter of the season is dedicated to political and social satire storylines that are staunchly in BoJack's wheelhouse.  Several celebrities make hilarious guest appearances (often as themselves) that keep the Hollywoo(d) spirit a great part of the show as well.  The BoJack world is grounded in emotion in order to relate to real life but knows that the real world is also an inherently ridiculous place.  Just as all of the great comedy shows do, BoJack Horseman heightens reality in order for its audience to see the truth in its jokes.

I haven't completely taken in the season yet, as I'd like to watch it again, but this is a lasting first impression.  There are a few side stories that feel a bit shoehorned into some episodes, but that never deters everything else from moving onwards.  One of my favorite things about this season is that, while I'm clamoring for more, I know that there is so much more in every episode that I watched, and that's where I can go to.

9.5/10

La La Land - Musical Genius

I honestly don't know where to start with this movie.  I'll begin with the fact that I saw it in theaters twice in the span of 6 hours.  I've never done that with any movie, in or out of the theater.  I was totally in love with everything from the moment it started to the moment it ended.  I'll elaborate more, but know that this review will be nothing but praise.

La La Land stars Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone as starving artists trying to make it in Los Angeles, Gosling as Sebastian: the jazz pianist, and Stone as Mia: the actress and playwright.  Both of these actors put everything they've got into these parts, but it's Stone who shines brightest.  Her nuanced performance captures everything about a struggling, hopeful creative and bundles it into a single, great character.  Gosling gets his spot too as he gets to show some spot-on comedic timing and has a great emotional arc to produce.  What really lifts the movie up, though, is the immense amount of chemistry these two leads have.  There are genuine smiles and chuckles throughout the film and it always seems as if these two are made for each other.

Now, La La Land is a musical, so much of its strength relies on its music.  Justin Hurwitz delivers an amazing score.  Every song is memorable and gorgeous.  City of Stars and Audition are personal favorites, but every piece is infused with love and care, especially the instrumentals.  After coming off of Whiplash, Hurwitz puts forth the punchiest, coolest jazz tunes I've ever heard.  Each bar becomes more beautiful than the one before it, and it could not work better.

I'd like to take some time now to talk about Damien Chazelle.  If you weren't impressed by each and every perfect frame of Whiplash, you should probably see an optometrist.  He brings the same eye for a scene here but ups the ante.  The first thing I noticed in the movie was the incredible use of vivid, saturated, primary colors.  Each scene, each character, each moment has its own gorgeous color scheme, with the movie centering around a captivating, deep blue that brings everything back together every time it appears on screen.  On my second viewing, I was able to pinpoint the meaning of each color and its purpose for each character, which I won't spoil, but know that these choices are not arbitrary in the least.  The framing of each and every scene is so spot on.  Objects come into the frame in the perfect spot to be seen without becoming too big of a distraction, pans are used to an incredibly moving effect, and I can't go on without talking about the long shots.  Musicals used to have the numbers shot with one long shot, needing no cuts like a stage production, but that sort of fell off for movie musicals.  Chazelle brings them back in an incredible display of bravery.  Several song and dance numbers are 5-minute long shots, and the movie is all the better for it.  I can only equate it to when the director of an action movie chooses to show the work that their actors have put in rather than giving short, terse moments of the fight.  Did I forget to mention that Damien Chazelle wrote the script for the movie as well?  The dialogue is smart, funny, cute, and, most of all, real.  Chazelle brings a sense of realism to a movie where people randomly break out in song and dance.  Every character feels tight and together, never leaving what they would do to act on a weird plot device.  Chazelle is one to look out for in the coming years.

I want to take a moment to give the spotlight to people who normally do not.  Tom Cross, the film's sole editor (which boggles my mind), does an incredible job.  The pacing is so spot on and each song lines up perfectly with what is happening on the screen.  David Wasco, the film's production designer, and Austin Gorg, the art director, made the most beautiful sets I may have ever seen in a movie.  The layout, the color, the everything is absolutely wonderful.  Mary Zophres, the costume designer, chose each and every outfit flawlessly.  Every main character pops out in a crowd, and their clothes blend gracefully into any scene.

There isn't much more I can say about this splendid piece of art.  I can't wait until it goes wide and more people can see it because this should be a global sensation.  I've seen 1,000+ movies, and I can say with extreme confidence that this is one of my five favorite movies of all time, if not my new favorite.  That doesn't happen, like, ever.  I was expecting greatness, but what I got was perfection.

10/10

Top Ten Movies of 2014

Reid’s Top Ten Movies of 2014 (That I Saw)

These are my favorite movies this year.  I didn’t get a chance to see everything and obviously this is but my humble opinion.  If you disagree, that is also your opinion.  We all connect with movies on different levels.  I have a laundry list of great movies I saw this year and many great ones were cut, but this is what I believe to be my favorites.  

The Close But No Cigar Award goes to The Wind Rises.  Kudos to Miyazaki on an incredible, beautifully animated passion project that serves as his last feature film.  You have given the world more than we could ask for.

Honorable Mentions go to Oculus, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Interview, Obvious Child, How to Train Your Dragon 2, and 22 Jump Street.

Other random awards will be given out at the end.

10. X-Men: Days of Future Past

This is the only movie this far down on the list that I saw twice, and that’s a testament to everything else on here and this movie alike.  DoFP was the perfect sequel to First Class.  It took the new actors we loved and mixed them with the old ones we loved in an absolutely awesome superhero movie.  It also happened to include one of the best scenes of the year, mixing a beautiful song with cool, funny gags.

9. The Babadook

Most people have no clue what this movie is, and that’s perfect.  I’ve become an avid horror fan over the past couple years and I’ve learned to love well-done horror movies.  The Babadook is one of them.  It centers around a mother and her child who read a book and are subsequently haunted by the monster depicted in the story.  The Babadook relies on tension, mood, and acting to keep the movie scary.  There are no jump scares to be found here.  If you like horror movies, find a way to see this gem.

8. Boyhood

Linklater took on an enormous responsibility with this movie that could have so easily turned out terribly, but turned into something beautiful.  Boyhood hits hard for people around my age and the generation two before me because it takes place exactly at the same time that I grew up.  The movie is dauntingly long, but necessarily so in order to tell the story of something so simple, yet so incredible.  Boyhood was the diary we all wished we wrote.

7. Edge of Tomorrow

Thank God this movie was awesome.  I was behind it ever since I saw the first trailer, but I knew in my heart that it could have turned out to be a trainwreck.  Tom Cruise is basically a video game character who continues to respawn at the beginning of the day every time he dies.  The movie is an absolute blast and just so damn cool.  Tom Cruise proved that he still has the ability and the the talent to make a great action movie even at 50 years old.  

6. Birdman

So far, this movie has struggled to find an audience, but that’s understandable considering it appeals to two people: movie geeks and theater people.  I’m lucky enough to fall into both of those categories.  Michael Keaton is a washed up Hollywood actor who turns to a self-written, self-produced, and self-starring broadway play to save his integrity as an actor.  The acting here is brilliant from all who are involved and the movie never lets up.  It’s a trip that you don’t want to end.

5. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (damn these long titles) was a really cool movie that has started something awesome.  Dawn was something I was excited to see, but once it started, I thought I knew where it was going.  I was wrong.  Dawn subverted my every expectation and even through the bad human characters made up for it so much that I cannot wait for the next movie.  This new franchise is full of life, wit, and damn dirty apes.

4. The Theory of Everything

One of few movies this year that I grew to enjoy the more I thought about it, The Theory of Everything had my favorite performance this year.  Eddie Redmayne turns in an absolutely phenomenal performance as Stephen Hawking in what is now my favorite biopic.  The physicality that Redmayne takes on and embraces is so well-done and fascinating.  The film is heartfelt and beautiful and somehow continually interesting without.  I love this movie.

3. Gone Girl

The best part about this movie is that, if you haven’t read the book, you see nothing coming.  I can’t talk much about the movie without spoiling stuff, but I had my eyes and mind glued to the screen for over two hours racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell was going on.  Stellar performances from Affleck and Pike make this movie an absolute must see for anyone who loves a good mystery.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy

Everyone has seen this movie by now, so there’s no point in me praising its sheer awesomeness.  It came out of nowhere, it took the world by surprise, and it gave not just Parks and Rec fans an appreciation for Chris Pratt.  GotG puts faith in me that Marvel can do no wrong, which will hopefully come true in the near future.

1. The Lego Movie

If you’ve talked to me at all since February, you might have seen this coming.  I’ve seen this movie four times already and I’m not going to stop anytime soon.  This film stole my heart from my very first viewing and has no intentions of giving it back.  I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy the amount of love, care, and excitement that both went into the movie and came out of it.  This is one movie that I have no qualms about putting at the top of my list, in fact, it was there ten months ago.

I saw a lot of stuff this year which means that I feel the small need to talk about a couple more things through some snide awards.

Most Potential goes to Interstellar.  I loved this movie so much just up until the end of it.  It prided itself on scientific accuracy and legitimacy until something happened.  It’s a beautiful movie with stunning visuals that had a point where I literally crossed my arms and pulled my legs up into my seat while I muttered, “Why, God, why?”

Most Disappointing goes to Top 5.  I don’t know why, but this movie has some of the best reviews of the year.  I went on the pretense of such lauding and came out sorely, well, disappointed.  It makes far too many indie movie blunders and mistakes overly sexual raunchiness for humor.  It dragged on, both the bad jokes and the movie, only to have a small handful of moments which I enjoyed.

The “Am I Wrong?” award goes to The Grand Budapest Hotel.  Everyone I talk to praises this movie to no end, and I had a fun time and all, but I just didn't enjoy it that much.  I applaud Wes Anderson for his slight stray from the usual more quaint, smaller story, but I don't think he succeeded.  Too many characters with too many settings with too much to do just made it feel scattered unlike the focused Anderson I’m used to.  But hey, maybe I’m wrong.

If you’re curious as to the rest of the movies that were considered for my top ten, here they are:  Big Hero 6, Chef, The Fault in Our Stars, Frank, Neighbors, Snowpiercer, Wish I Was Here.

Shout out to my least favorite movie I saw this year, Maleficent.  Sure, I saw movies worse than this, but this movie just makes me mad.  I saw other stuff that I was expecting to fail, but Maleficent was just a heap of bad.  The design is the only thing that stands out in a movie filled with plot holes, hypocrisy, unfunny “funny” parts, and straight up boredom.  I’m sad it wasn't better, but I just can’t help but think back and despise this movie.

If you want to talk to me about anything else movie-wise, including things on this list, feel free to hit me up.

The Avengers: An assembly you don't want to miss

Four years ago, a little movie called Iron Man came out in theatres. It was mostly off the radar, but when reviews poured out proclaiming that the new age of superhero movies was here, audiences came to see what the fuss was about. They were greeted with an expertly crafted film with a special scene popping up after the end credits. Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, announced to Tony Stark the beginning of the Avengers Initiative. Every fanboy in the audience knew that this meant: Marvel had just promised a full-fledged Avengers film. Everyone was skeptical, including me. Four movies later, and we have The Avengers, or the main ones at least.

From the very beginning, I was right behind the idea of an Avengers movie, but I had my doubts. This undertaking meant that Marvel, and later Disney, had to crank out enough good movies to keep audiences interested and establish enough characters to make a legitimate team. As the years rolled by, we were treated with Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America. If one paid enough attention, or knew the comic books, they would know how intricately intertwined all of these characters are. For instance, Bruce Banner, the Hulk, was trying to replicate the super soldier formula which Tony Stark’s, Iron Man’s, grandfather made for Steve Rogers, Captain America, when Banner got enough gamma radiation to become the thing he hates. But enough about my nerd-excitement, how was the movie?

 Without spoiling too much, Avengers focuses around gathering a team of superheroes, whom I’ve already listed, to defeat Loki, the brother and main villain of Thor. Loki has come to Earth with an army of aliens, and Nick Fury decides that it’s going to take much more than just one hero to stop the god of mischief. Fury sends for his chosen team, and we watch the trials and tribulations of this effort.

 The entire original cast returns for their superhero besides one, Edward Norton as the Bruce Banner/Hulk. When I heard about the casting change, I was wary. Norton was the perfect Banner in my eyes, embodying the emotional stress, scientific prowess, and general snarkiness that he should. To take his place is Mark Ruffalo. Ruffalo does a respectable job, and while I still believe Norton was the better Banner, Mark fits the character well. Robert Downey Jr. is just as perfect as Tony Stark/Iron Man as he was in his previous two starring roles. Chris Hemsworth makes Thor the lovable Asguardian we came to love once again. Chris Evans comes back as Captain America, and Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner make their cameos characters as Black Widow and Hawkeye, respectively. And last, but certainly not least, is Tom Hiddleston as Loki. Returning as the villain from Thor, Hiddleston ramps up his mischievous activities and does a good job being evil. All of these actors do a great job, save some small gripes I’ve had with Captain America since his movie.

 What really sells The Avengers is the fantastic direction and writing of Joss Whedon. Whedon is no stranger to projects with several main characters, and his aptitude shines here. Every character, even the minor Hawkeye and Black Widow, has a role in Avengers. Not one hero took a backseat here. Sure, some had bigger parts than others, but none were put on the backburner. Whedon makes sure that every hero had an established personality and relationship with one another, and this helps you care about what happens to them. No matter which Avenger is your favorite (in case you’re wondering mine is Thor the hero, but Iron Man or Hulk the character), you’ll see them kick all kinds of ass. Action scenes are extremely well done thanks to Whedon and, having seen it in 3-D, I can say that if you have the extra two bucks, use it; it’s awesome. As a side note, Avengers is surprisingly hilarious. I found myself laughing a lot throughout the movie, and this is welcome with all of the serious action going on.

 All in all, The Avengers is awesome. It starts a bit slow because Whedon has to show how great he develops characters, but once it picks up, it gets explosive. A few minor gripes (why do I not like Captain America?) are not much compared to how much fun you’ll be having when you watch this movie. And be sure to stay after the credits for a reference very few will get, but be sure to look it up because it is bound to show up in a later Marvel adventure. 8.5/10

John Carter: Who knew Mars was this dull?

John Carter was never a truly thrilling idea to me. When trailers began to show up, I felt skeptical of how faithful it could be to the novel, for which I am not a fan of but have heard great things. John Carter came out with more and more trailers with Disney urging audiences to come and see the movie. The Edgar Rice Burroughs novels from which it is based upon contained 11 volumes, many of which Carter did not appear in, but Disney is determined. Throwing over 200 million dollars and one of their top directors, Andrew Stanton, into the project, they hoped for the best. Reviews started coming out and some were extremely positive while others tore the film down completely. Was my skepticism proven wrong? Somewhat.

John Carter is about an American civil war soldier named John Carter (Taylor Kitsch). After he wanders into a cave, Carter finds himself transported to Mars in the middle of their own civil war. If Carter wants to get some answers, he must stop the marriage of Princess Dejah (Lynn Collins) and the corrupted Prince Sab Than (Dominic West). Honestly, I remembered barely any of the names of these characters. I had to look all of them up online. The reason for this is that many of the characters in this movie are completely forgettable. Either that or it may be the fact that there are just so many people to keep track of besides the one name said at least once every ten minutes, John Carter. It’s a good thing that the actors do a good job of portraying these characters. Even those who provide the voice of the savage alien species have personality to them.

Unfortunately, John Carter suffers from some uneven pacing. Throughout most of the first half of the movie I was bored. Things were unexplained and left alone, coming off more annoying than intriguing. Things begin to ramp up later on, but I never found myself fully invested. John Carter is lucky enough to have an interesting lore to its universe. The depiction of the aliens is well done, but once again, many things are left unexplained. The trouble is that the movie can’t afford to invest more time into it with a runtime of over two hours. The film just barely has enough time to wrap up nicely and if there was added time, I’m not sure I’d be all that more invested.

John Carter’s dialogue is not what the problem is, it’s the action. Ridiculous stunts are preformed under the context that the gravity of Mars is to blame and I’m hoping most self-respecting humans would notice that that simply doesn’t explain it. Important characters are dealt with in a split-second and war strategy turns to “walk in and shoot them.” Stanton writes for what could have been a cool animated movie, but is shut down by the realism the film seems to embody. Stanton’s work with the direction is similar to his writing. He works best within the parameters of animation and he doesn’t make the transition as well as Brad Bird did with Mission Impossible. Over-the-top-ness can be a good thing, but not with a movie with such serious undertones.

John Carter was enjoyable to the part of me that liked blood, giant battles, and aliens, but when that was stripped away by how serious the film can be, I felt somewhat abandoned. John Carter is by no means bad, but it is quite forgettable and unfortunately boring. 6/10

The Muppets: It's time to meet The Muppets

A long time ago, I heard that Jason Segel had a project to bring back the Muppets. I was familiar with the characters thanks to watching Muppets from Space as a kid, but I had never taken my fascination any further. Flash forward twelve years, and the Muppets have come back to theatres with as much charm and laughs as anyone could hope for.

The Muppets (the movie) centers around a brand new muppet named Walter and his brother Gary, Jason Segel. All his life, Walter has wanted nothing more than to see the famous Muppet Theatre and take a tour of the studio. When Gary decides to take his long-time girlfriend Mary, Amy Adams, to Los Angeles for their tenth anniversary, he lets Walter tag along to see the Muppet studio. On a tour, Walter finds out that an oil tycoon, Tex Richman, played by Chris Cooper, wants to buy the studio and drill there. The only way to save the studio is to raise ten million dollars, so Walter, Gary and Mary set out to reunite the Muppets and put on one last show.

This movie is Jason Segel’s dream project. He has been a huge fan his whole life and always wanted to make a Muppet movie of his own. Taking matters into his own hands, Segel proceeded to write, produce, and star in this movie, essentially making it his own; this is anything but bad. Any audience member could tell that this movie was truly a labor of love. Segel poured every last bit of comedy and nostalgia out of himself and stuck it in this movie. Segel does a great job as the lead, over-exaggerating emotions and making everything over the top, which is a staple of the Muppets, and Segel keeps it going. Amy Adams was the perfect choice to play his girlfriend. Adams is a charming bundle of joy and showed her great comedic musical acting in Enchanted, which carries over well with The Muppets. One of the greatest parts about The Muppets is the cameos. There are literally dozens of cameos in this film and you are bound to recognize at least one of the people making a surprise appearance. All of these cameos are done spot-on and always kept me smiling and pointing at the screen.

Director James Bobin, writer and director of Flight of the Conchords, works well within the confines of what the camera can show with The Muppets. Emotional scenes always look strong, and every sight-gag is handled with finesse. Segel’s writing is darn near perfect. Every joke deserves a laugh and, although the pacing may be a bit too fast, the music is fantastic. Music numbers are a common occurrence with the Muppets and they make their triumphant return here with catchy tunes and an unfortunate lack of classics (only two).

The Muppets is the definition of a feel-good movie. There was never a moment when I thought to look away from the screen and I had a smile practically plastered on my face. Although it may move a bit too quick and there is a surprising lack of classic tunes, The Muppets is the best time I’ve had at a movie theater all year. 9/10

Moneyball: Hits it out of the park

Moneyball was a movie I was looking forward to. The premise looked good, and everyone behind it seemed great for the job. Reviews began to come out, and it seemed to appeal to more people than I initially anticipated. In the end, Moneyball is a great movie that almost anyone can enjoy, even if you’re not a baseball fan.

The plot centers around the down and out general manager of the Oakland A’s, Billy Beane (Brad Pitt). Billy is having trouble with his team because he just can’t seem to get the money that is usually needed to build a winning team. Billy soon meets recent economics college graduate Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) who explains an interesting theory. It is mostly lots of different algorithms that predict which players would be best fit for a team. Most of these stats are reliant on a player’s on base percentage. Billy is caught up in a whirlwind of seemingly random players and must convince the scouts and all of Oakland that what he and Peter are doing is what’s best for the team.

I follow baseball pretty well. I don’t check players’ stats or watch every game, but it is America’s pastime, and a good one at that. Moneyball brings this to a whole new level involving complex math equations, and it’s surprisingly interesting to watch. Every time you wondered why you would need what you’re learning in math class, you would never think to look to baseball. It’s an odd thing to see a film based upon such a thing, but it works really well.

Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill work perfectly off of each other. It’s nice to see Pitt doing the thing he’s best at and doing it well. He has finally embraced the fact that he’s not a young boy, but is old enough to play mature rolls. Pitt has some Oscar buzz surrounding him, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got a nod. Jonah Hill can be very hit or miss, but he knocks it out with Moneyball. It’s not just Hill that’s good, but it’s the script that he’s given that helps to push him along onto the right track.

The writing in this movie is undeniably smart. Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin worked extremely well together. Jokes are witty, conversations seem natural, and it all just flows perfectly. It can get a bit sappy at times, but even that can’t stop the writing from being some of the best so far this year.

Bennett Miller, of Capote fame, handles the direction with ease. Shots are composed artfully and add to the tone of the scene every time. If it’s emotional, you’re going to see wide pans and close-ups on the actors’ faces. When things get less serious, you’ll see a lighting change that can make all the difference. It’s difficult to keep people interested in a behind the scenes sports movie, but the direction is what always kept me in.

Moneyball is a great movie and an amazing baseball movie. Fans of the sport will fall in love with it, and everyone else will still be enthralled, even if they don’t understand it all. It starts out a bit slow, and I feel like I’ve seen some of it before, but Moneyball is a great way to kick off the fall movie season. 9/10

Unstoppable: Make it stop

I remember seeing the trailers to this movie and thinking how bad it could be. I skipped it on my own intuition, but when reviews came out praising it, I was shocked. I finally had the chance to revisit it, and now I know why I skipped it.

Unstoppable is “inspired by true events.” I guess that’s the looser way of saying based on a true story, especially since the plot is pretty nonsensical. Anyways, the story starts when a dumb railroad worker accidentally lets a train go unmanned. This train continues to pick up speed with nobody in it, leaving a possibility for it to derail in a heavily populated area. Before this occurs, Frank (Denzel Washington) gets a new rookie partner named Will (Chris Pine). They each have their own background story, but it’s mostly unimportant. The runaway train passes Frank and Will, and Frank decides that they can save the train by themselves.

One of the biggest problems I had with this movie was its opening. First impressions are everything, and Unstoppable does not make a good one. Products, TV shows, and company names are spread throughout the beginning and left me thinking if Coca-Cola part of the title of this film. Luckily, that slows down, but one thing that never ends is a simple camera trick that annoyed me to no end. During a wide shot, the camera would zoom in on a person’s face, and when the camera is zoomed in, it pulls out to show the scene. This happens all the time and sometimes even in conjunction. I stopped noticing it a little, but it never ceased to bother me.

The acting in this movie is not the best I’ve seen from any of the actors in it. Denzel Washington has a little fun running around a train, and making cracks at himself, but his genuinely good acting only shines through for a couple minutes. Chris Pine did his own stunts in Unstoppable, but that doesn’t mean his acting is as good as it could be. If you want to see him in a good movie, go see Star Trek. Rosario Dawson is not known for being the best actress out there, but she does a good job considering her other work, but, unfortunately, that’s not saying much.

Director Tony Scott is not known for amazing movies, but he has worked with Denzel Washington a few times, which may be a reason why Washington has some sub-par acting. Scott may have made him feel too comfortable, but I can’t tell for sure. The shaky camera style comes into play too much in this movie, and I once again can’t help but mention the zooms. The biggest problem with Scott’s direction is that he always repeats. There are a few scenes when people are talking on the phone, and every time the camera pans across the room of each person. Once is fine, but when it happens again and again, it just gets irritating.

The writing in this movie is its saving grace. Mike Bomback doesn’t phenomenal writing, but it still connects. Comic relief is common in this movie, and it works really well. It doesn’t interrupt the action, but is instead inserted into time spent in the train with Will and Frank. Being the writer for Live Free or Die Hard, Bomback knows how to construct an action sequence, and the tensest moments actually work. It was slightly boring at times, and some things could have been more fleshed out, but it seems Bomback did his research on trains.

Unstoppable is not a great movie. The acting is mediocre and the direction is annoying, but well-composed action sequences and some good dialogue keep it from being a total train wreck. 6/10

Planet Terror: Scary good

I noticed that this weekend the horrible-looking Spy Kids 4 is coming out. I looked back fondly on Spy Kids and remembered the great first and the good second films. I decided to take a look at director Robert Rodriguez and find something of his worthwhile to watch. I found Planet Terror. I remember seeing the preview for some reason and, being twelve, decided it would be the most amazing thing ever. Seeing as it was a hard “R,” I never saw it. That is until now. My twelve-year-old self wasn’t completely correct, but Planet Terror is a campy, hilarious, and downright gross piece of cinema.

The plot in Planet Terror is mostly left aside, but it goes a little something like this: An experimental toxin is leaked into the air at a military base in rural Texas. This toxin has an interesting effect. It turns people into flesh eating “sickos,” which can be described as a covered-in-boils zombie. The story has no true center, but rather follows several people including recently retired go-go dancer Cherry (Rose McGowan), her shady ex Wray (Freddy Rodriguez, no relation to Robert), a doctor (Josh Brolin) out for revenge on his cheating wife (Marley Shelton), the local sheriff (Michael Biehn), and several others. All of these characters try to survive as blood and guts fly everywhere with the recent outbreak.

Before I go my usual way of talking about actors, I must talk about this movie for just a while longer. The interesting thing about Planet Terror is that it is shown as though one were watching it in an old 70’s movie theatre. Grain is everywhere and the flecks of dust pop in and out of the screen all the time. Some might take this as a bad thing, but I think that it was a risk worth taking. The campy vibe of the movie along with the rampant blood and guts work extremely well to keep a 70’s exploitation movie vibe. I was amazed at how much I loved it even without ever experiencing it in real life.

It’s difficult to talk about just one actor, so I’ll try to wrap up all of them. Every actor knows very well that this movie is meant to have somewhat subpar acting due to its homage feel. Although this is taken into account, I can’t help feeling that some of the actors took this a bit too far, or just can’t act. Brolin was great as the vengeful doctor and so was Shelton as the runaway. Freddy Rodriguez and Biehn seemed to have the best feel for what to do along with a special guest appearance about an hour into the movie. I don’t want to spoil it, but that actor knows what he’s doing. My biggest problem was with Rose McGowan. It seems that she is only known for her sex appeal and that is made completely apparent in the movie. Near the end she does get to have some fun, and does a great job with those scenes, but before then her performance is nothing but bland.

Robert Rodriguez does almost every other thing imaginable with this movie. He wrote, directed, composed, produced, edited, supervised the visual effects, and even was the cinematographer. All praise and blame can be directed squarely at him, but he luckily deserves more praise. The direction is some of the cheesiest I’ve ever seen, and the visual effects probably have the most blood put in a movie ever. Images of infected genitalia are shown, and he almost always leaves nothing to the imagination. The writing is probably his best achievement. Although campy lines are spoken, Rodriguez puts some considerably funny moments into the script and then handles them with ease as the director, not to mention how back-and-forths between characters seem strangely natural.

Planet Terror may not appeal to all audiences, but if you like the idea of a campy film with rampant violence, gore, and hilarity, go check out Planet Terror. 7/10

Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Long name, great movie

When this movie was announced, I was extremely skeptical. A prequel to one of the best classic movies ever? I finally saw a few previews and I just got a little more doubtful. It looked more like an attack movie rather than a true story. The reviews began to pour out for this movie and I was shocked. I had to see for myself how good this movie is. Let’s just say that I came out stunned and wanting more.

Rise of the Apes, as I will now refer to it, starts when scientist Will Rodman, James Franco, makes a breakthrough in his research to cure Alzheimer’s, but when something goes wrong, Will’s project is shut down, forcing him to put down all of his ape test subjects. Will finds out that one of his subjects had a baby, and so he decides to take it home with him and name it Caesar. Will finds that this chimp is especially smart due to the fact that he was born from an ape that was given his Alzheimer’s medication. As Caesar grows up, he becomes bigger and more powerful, not to mention much smarter. When something happens, Caesar is put into an ape “sanctuary” with tons of less smart apes. From then on, you probably know what happens.

Now the thing about Rise of the Apes, is that James Franco is not the main character. Instead, the story focuses on the CGI ape, Caesar. A CGI primate as a main character is not something seen often, but for this movie it works. Caesar acts more like a human than any other ape in the movie, and this lets him convey emotion, particularly through his body movements. But the movements aren’t done by animators, it is done by the immensely talented Andy Serkis, known for the voice and movements of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I cannot give this man enough credit for his contribution to this movie, and it makes me wonder if he could get a nomination for best actor.

The only other prominent characters in this film are James Franco and Tom Felton. Franco does a laudable job, but I know that he’s done better. After seeing 127 Hours I expected a little more engrossment in his part, but it never seemed to shine through. Felton, best known for being Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series, does a nice job as the bully in the ape “sanctuary.” Felton does what he does best, and he does it well.

The strong direction in Rise of the Apes is done by Rupert Wyatt, a relative newcomer to film direction. The pans and camera movements that accentuate the movements and feelings of Caesar are flawless, not to mention the action sequence at the end of the movie. It seems that Mr. Wyatt will be getting a few new gigs, pending he hasn’t signed up for this movie’s eventual sequel.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is an extremely interesting look on society, and quite a powerful movie as well. There was this one point when something slightly funny happened and then boom. Something intriguing occurs and the whole audience looked straight at the screen and realized this movie’s seriousness. If only the acting was better and the movie didn’t scream for a sequel, Rise of the Apes could have been one of the best movies of the year. 8.5/10

Minority Report: The future looks awesome!

Going into this movie, I knew very few things about it. I knew that it starred Tom Cruise and that the technology in it is slightly mirrored in the world today. What I didn’t know, was that the movie was as deep and as complicated as a Christopher Nolan film, the direction was done by Spielberg, and that the special effects are amazing even if the movie had come out today.

Minority Report takes place in 2054 when the world looks radically different and murder has been almost completely eradicated. The lack of murder is thanks to a new breed of crime fighting called precrime. This allows officers to see a murder before it happens. The logistics of this are best explained through the film, but that’s the basics. Tom Cruise plays Chief John Anderson, the head of the precrime division. John believes firmly that precrime works flawlessly, but when it is predicted that he will kill somebody, John must go on the run and prove his innocence. The story takes many twists and turns, and it becomes very difficult to say any more without giving away too much.

As I said in my review of Knight and Day, Tom Cruise is one of my favorite people to see on the silver screen. In Minority Report, Cruise has to be less snarky and a little more badass. Cruise’s great reactions to the special effects make the situation feel so believable, thus pulling the viewer in more. His reactions to more emotional situations are heart-wrenching and his overall performance is remarkable.

Director Steven Spielberg has never failed to amaze me. Every movie he directs is phenomenal and Minority Report makes no exception. Camera-work is done pitch-perfect and every action sequence is filled with excitement. All of the chase scenes look very much like his work with the Indiana Jones movies. This coupled with the Blade Runner-esque art style of the dregs of society are a great vision.

Watching these special effects, I had to see who the cinematographer was. Janusz Kaminski has worked with Spielberg’s action films before and even worked with Tom Cruise on Jerry Maguire. The special effects are beyond phenomenal for a movie made in 2002, much less one that was made in 2011. I have seen recent movies with special effects worse than that of Minority Report’s and that is saying something.

The two writers don’t have many credits, in fact, one has none other than Minority Report, but the dialogue is fantastic. There are a few scenes where the characters can seem a little out of place, and others when moments are funny in this very seriously-toned film. But the movie itself is based off of a short story written by Phillip K. Dick, the mastermind behind other books such as the aforementioned Blade Runner and the just as greatly adapted Total Recall.

All in all, Minority Report is a fantastic movie that is a thrill to watch. From every sci-fi futuristic toy, to every chase and every surprise, I never took my eyes off the screen. If only the jokes were left behind, this movie could be even closer to perfect. 9/10

Insomnia: Hard to stay awake

                I looked at this movie’s description and thought to myself, “How could this go wrong?”  An all-star cast of three Oscar-winners join up with Christopher Nolan to make a movie.  Luckily, Insomnia doesn’t go very wrong.  If you want a usual Chris Nolan mindfreak, you won’t find it here, but Insomnia is still a gripping mystery.

                Insomnia is the story of two Los Angeles cops who are sent to Alaska to find the killer of a teenage girl.  But when Will Dormer (Al Pacino) has something go wrong with his partner, Will begins to lose sleep.  Hilary Swank helps Dormer on their case as rookie cop Ellie Burr, as Robin Williams tags along as, well, a spoiler.  This is a mystery and I’d rather not give away too much of the plot.

                Al Pacino is an undeniably great actor and it is shown quite well through this movie.  As every new piece of evidence is unfolded and every new lead is figured out, the viewer can tell that Pacino stays in character nicely.  He seems to have that very normal feel to him.  Pacino acts how just about anyone in that situation would act, but he does so in an unnatural situation, and that’s what makes him great.

                Hilary Swank does a good job as the eager newbie.  The genuine kindness in her eyes fades as the plot gets thicker and it’s a nice change from similar faces in every scene.  It’s very difficult to talk about Robin Williams’ character, but he does a great job in it.  I’m not used to seeing Williams do a drama, but it seems to work very nicely for him.

                The writing in this movie is just about the only thing I have a problem with.  The screenplay is largely based off of an extremely similar Sweedish movie of the same name.  When I say extremely, I mean they’re almost exact copies.  The rest was up to screenwriter Hillary Seitz, whose only other credit is admittedly terrible Eagle Eye.  The writing isn’t bad per se, but the story seemed to be one big lag with a pickup in the last five minutes.  I know mysteries are meant to be slow, but this was bordering on unbearable.  I was kept in by wanting to know the ending and how it plays out.  I have to admit, the movie definitely kept me hooked.

                Director Christopher Nolan has great direction as usual.  I recently saw Memento and the style doesn’t seem to change that much.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, Memento was very well directed, but I do wish that there was a slight change in style from Nolan’s other movies.

                Insomnia is a gripping mystery that will keep you wanting it to end, but without skipping the details.  Two hours is a long time these days and slow mysteries aren’t usually my favorite, but Insomnia kept my attention with smart direction, an intriguing story, and great acting, especially by Pacino.  7.5/10

Catch Me If You Can: Taking forgery to new heights!

This is a movie I have looked forward to watching. It has gone in and out of my mind and I’m glad I finally saw it. The fact is, Catch Me If You Can is now one of my favorite movies of all time. That is a very difficult club to become a part of, and I hope this review can explain why it deserves that spot.

Catch Me If You Can is based on the true story of Frank Abagnale Jr., a check embezzler played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Sixteen-year-old Frank finds himself going from rich to poor after his dad, Christopher Walken, has a hard time keeping his business up. After a short time Frank’s parents get a divorce and he decides to run away with what little money he has. Frank uses his new checkbook to “bounce” his way through several hotels and apartments. Frank soon decides he needs real money, and concocts a scheme to pose as an airline pilot, forging checks payable to his new persona. Frank then travels around the country cashing forged checks and getting in over his head. The FBI finds out about his schemes and sends Carl Hanratty, Tom Hanks, to catch Frank. Antics ensue as DiCaprio runs away from Hanks.

Leonardo DiCaprio is one of my favorite people to see in a movie. From Titanic to Inception, he can play every role pitch perfect. Catch Me If You Can is no exception to the rule. DiCaprio plays the young criminal flawlessly. Every line and every word is delivered with finesse and respect for the source material. I can’t tell you enough how much I loved him in this role.

Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks. He is famous for being great. Hanks plays the New York detective like a pro. Carl feels put down at his job and even more so by a criminal that seems impossible to catch, and this distress is shown through Hanks flawlessly. Every missed mark and every wrong check can be seen though Hanks’ body language.

The director needs no introduction. He is the one and only Steven Spielberg. Perfect at every turn, the direction could not have been better. Spielberg pulls it off once again with genius timing and astounding skill. As montages go, Catch Me If You Can had one that I may never forget. It’s difficult to make a movie like this, but I know nobody else who could do it better than Steven Spielberg.

Rarely will I write about or even notice the music in a film, but composer John Williams made several catchy pieces that will be stuck in my head for weeks. John Williams has had an outstanding past with movies and Catch Me If You Can will be added to one of his many other successes.

It is not often that I see a movie as enthralling as Catch Me If You Can. I was almost always on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what Frank and Carl would do next. I say almost because it lags a bit at the end. The lagging is understandable, but I wish there was a way to make it a little more exciting. Other than that, Catch Me If You Can is one of very few almost perfect movies. 9.5/10

Knight and Day: Witty, Charming, Fun

When this movie debuted, I was super excited to go see it. The fact that Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise are two of my favorite actors, coupled with the genuinely good-looking trailers had me pumped. Unfortunately, I saw the reviews and was taken aback. I decided to skip the apparently mediocre film and move on to other things. That was until yesterday when I finally decided to see this movie, and while it may be formulaic, Diaz and Cruise make it such a fun time that I was always excited to see the next scene.

Knight and Day is about Diaz’s character, June, having a chance meeting with Cruise’s character, Roy. They bump into each other at the airport, and Roy is put onto the same flight as June except June’s ticket becomes invalid. When she is put back on the plane, she finds out that Roy is a rogue spy trying to clear his name. Throughout the movie, June is pulled into tons of crazy situations with Roy right behind her, saving her life. This movie follows a definite formula, but that doesn’t hinder how much I enjoyed this affair.

Cruise is the star of the show. His comedic timing is perfect and he always has that classic Tom Cruise charm to his acting. Whether he is running around a battle, talking to someone else, or even drugging Diaz time and time again, Tom Cruise always makes his character likeable.

Diaz doesn’t play as big of a role as Cruise, but she is still funny. Diaz pulls off the cute and innocent girl with ease, and even though she is getting older, she can still be very attractive (something that is also shown in her recent film, Bad Teacher).

The writing in this movie is great. The film is very fast-paced and newcomer Patrick O’Neill pulls of the romantic-comedy-action genre with style. Every little quip was placed perfectly and every line was spot-on. I never felt like I was cheated out of a good situation. Every time Diaz and Cruise are somewhere, the most is made out of every second they stay in that place. This is largely thanks to the lightning-fast pacing, and although it slows down a bit in the middle, as most movies do, the writing was an amazing mix of three genres.

The direction was also very well-done. James Mangold, the director behind Walk the Line, 3:10 to Yuma, and Girl, Interrupted, knows how to make a great action and romance sequence. Every car that flew by, every thing that exploded, and every set piece that flew by was handled with finesse. Whether it was a fistfight in close quarters, or a gun battle in a large area, the direction was always excellent.

Knight and Day may play by a few rules, but the funny writing, the amazing direction, and the charming leads make this movie a joy to watch. 7.5/10

The Losers: A loser of a movie

When I saw the trailer for this movie last year, I didn’t think it looked half bad. But it was then that the reviews came out saying that it was meant for thirteen-year olds and not that good. Being fourteen, I decided to skip it. I recently revisited the movie and am proud to say that the reviews give it more credit than it deserves.

The Losers is about a ragtag gang of men who I think were soldiers. The plot is never truly well explained, but I’ll do the best I can. At one point all of these men are betrayed by their boss, Max, and are thought to be dead by the public. A while later, Zoe Saldana pops in to ask the leader (Jeffery Dean Morgan) if he and his team will track down Max for her. The rest is nonsensical and cliché. From gunfights to more betrayals, this movie follows the book so well I almost predicted every second.

The acting is nothing special. Everyone involved seems to do an alright job. The only standout performer here is Zoe Saldana. She plays the sexy and gunslinging girl well, but doesn’t take it too far. Jeffery Dean Morgan was I name I hadn’t heard. In fact, watching the movie, I thought the actor was Gerard Butler, and that’s just how bad he was. I laughed twice during this movie: One time I chuckled at a joke, the other time was when I broke out laughing due to Butl- sorry I mean Morgan’s horrible delivery during what was supposed to be a serious moment. The rest of the characters and their respective actors are forgettable.

The writing is somewhat off kilter. I felt as if the movie was trying to be juvenile and adult at the same time. There were moments when people were having a serious conversation or a great action sequence, and then someone breaks out a horrible “yo mama” joke. Maybe some pre-teens would laugh at that, but even this youngster had a confused look on his face. The direction in this movie is nothing more than moving the camera around a scene. I swore I was just watching a dream I had when I was twelve, but with awkward camera angles.

The Losers is not a good movie. There are random sensual scenes, people getting shot and then doing parkour stunts, and just plain alright acting. If your kid wants some mindless action, give them this movie and they might be glued to a screen for a mere hour-and-a-half. 3/10